4 Babies Later: What I’d Do Again (and What I’d Do Differently)
Some birth choices I’d make all over again. Others? Let’s just say experience has taught me a few things. Here’s what I’d keep and what I’d do differently knowing what I know now.
Pregnant and wondering how you’re actually supposed to prepare for birth?
I got you. Be Confident: Your Prenatal Essentials covers what you need to know to head into labor feeling informed, prepared, and confident.
What Four Births Taught Me
I’ve given birth four times, and I’ve helped hundreds of people give birth as a labor and delivery nurse. But fun fact: I wasn’t an L&D nurse when I had my first baby or my second.
So when I look back at my own births now, there are things I think, Yep, I’d 100% do that again. And then there are a few where I’m like, Tina, girl. We could’ve done that differently.
Here’s what made the keep list and what I’d change knowing what I know now.
THE KEEP LIST
The things I’d 100% do again.
1. Keep My Birth Team Small
For my first birth, I had my husband and sister with me. For my second, my husband and mom. By babies three and four, it was just my husband and me. And to be honest… I liked it that way.
Birth is intimate, and those first hours afterward can be BUSY. You're recovering, your care team is checking on you and baby, and you may be figuring out feeding.
I know myself. Even if nobody expected me to entertain them, I’d still be wondering if everyone was comfortable.
For me, fewer people meant less anxiety, more privacy, and more time to focus on myself and baby.
2. Keep Moving During Pregnancy
I was active before pregnancy, so continuing to move throughout my pregnancies was something I was comfortable with and that my health care provider was okay with.
And it didn't have to be complicated.
Walking after dinner, walking around the mall when it was freezing outside, moving my body and pelvis, and closer to my due dates, doing things like forward-leaning inversions and the Miles Circuit.
Movement was a big part of my pregnancies, and it's something I'd absolutely keep.
3. Keep the Mirror
Okay, I KNOW. Some of you hear “mirror during pushing” and immediately think, Absolutely not. But I loved it.
I had an epidural, so although I could feel pressure, it was harder to tell whether my pushing was actually moving baby down.
The mirror gave me feedback. I could SEE my progress and understand where I needed to direct that pressure.
And if the mirror isn't your thing, you can also ask about reaching down and touching baby's head.
It's your vagina. It's your baby. It's your fluids.
You can touch all you want.
4. Keep the Skin-to-Skin and Early Breastfeeding
Those first skin-to-skin moments are some of the clearest and most content moments I remember from my births.
When baby and I were doing well, having that uninterrupted time together also gave us the opportunity to start figuring out breastfeeding and latching.
And if breastfeeding is part of your plan, bring the breastfeeding pillow.
Because hospital pillows are basically envelopes.
Of course, sometimes you or baby may need medical attention first, and skin-to-skin can look different after a C-section. But when possible, this is something I'd absolutely keep.
Okay, now for the things I'd do a little differently...
THE CHANGE LIST
Knowing what I know now, these are getting an update.
1. Labor at Home a Little Longer
I was excited to get to the hospital. But I was also DONE with being pregnant.
Knowing what I know now, I would've stayed home longer during early labor if everything was uncomplicated and my care team agreed it was safe.
Home is familiar. Your things are there. Your people are there. You're comfortable.
And with my later babies, I would've loved a little more time at home with my older kids before leaving to have their new sibling.
2. Wait a Little Longer for My Epidural
Would I still get the epidural? Absolutely. I’d just wait a little longer to get it.
I got mine around four centimetres, and knowing what I know now, I would've liked to spend more time moving and using gravity first.
Stand. Rock. Lean over the bed. Get in the shower.
Then, when I'm ready? Bring me my epidural.
3. Ask About My Monitoring Options
During my births, I had monitors strapped to me, which restricted some of my movement.
If I had another low-risk, uncomplicated pregnancy, I'd ask my care team whether intermittent fetal monitoring was an appropriate option for me.
It isn't right for every labor, and sometimes continuous monitoring is necessary. But knowing what I know now, I'd at least want to understand my options and have that conversation.
4. Set the Mood
Why was I giving birth under regular hospital lighting when we could've had ambiance?
If I did it again, I'd bring twinkle lights, my own blanket and pillow, maybe a meaningful photo, and MULTIPLE playlists.
Because early-labor Tina might want peaceful my cervix is a flower and it's opening music.
But when things get more intense? I might need a completely different playlist.
5. Use WAY More Positions
This is probably the biggest thing I'd change.
When I had my first baby, I wasn't an L&D nurse yet. I pretty much did what I was told: back, left side, right side.
Now?
Oh, we're MOVING.
Standing. Leaning. Birth ball. All fours. Supported kneeling. Throne. Even the Captain Morgan position, with one leg raised and supported. We’re trying it all.
There isn't one magical position that's going to give you a 12-minute labor and have your baby rocket out with zero tearing. I WISH.
I'd focus on changing positions, moving my body, and paying attention to what actually felt good.
And really, that’s what this whole list comes down to: knowing more gave me more options.
What I Know Now
After four births, there are definitely things I'd keep and things I'd do differently knowing what I know now.
And that's really why I share this stuff. There's so much about labor and birth that I didn't know with my first baby that I understand completely differently now.
So learn about your options, ask the questions, and go into your birth with as much knowledge as you can.
Because the more you know, the more prepared you can feel when it's your turn.
