Nobody Told Me: Childbirth Edition
Welcome back to Nobody Told Me. This time we are navigating BIRTH.
Read below for five things I wish I’d known about childbirth (and I bet you weren’t told either).
Before we dive in… have you checked out our courses? They’ll pair well with this blog!
Level up your prep with our step-by-step classes on pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and those wild newborn days. Grab one—or bundle and save:
Your game plan, done.
OK let’s get into it.
1) You deliver a placenta (and you can ask to see it)
The placenta is a temporary, one-of-a-kind organ that keeps your baby thriving. By about 8–12 weeks of pregnancy (around 10 on average), it’s fully functioning—sending oxygen, nutrients, and antibodies to baby through the umbilical cord and carrying waste/CO2 away.
What most people aren’t told: after the baby, you deliver the placenta. If you birth vaginally, you’ll usually give a small push and out it comes; during a cesarean, your team removes it manually after baby is born. You can often look at it (it’s fascinating… and a little gooey), sometimes take it home or even donate it depending on local policy. If there were concerns during pregnancy or birth, your team may send it for testing.
2) You can say no — as long as you understand what “no” means
I talk a lot about informed consent. Hospital policy isn’t law. You have the right to accept or decline any intervention once you understand benefits, risks, and alternatives. Your provider is responsible for explaining both sides; you can change your mind at any time. “No” is a complete sentence — and an informed one is empowering.
3) Pain control isn’t just “unmedicated vs. epidural”
Comfort measures (non-medicated tools)
Low-risk tools you can mix and match to change how your brain and body experience labor.
Movement & positions: Walk, sway, slow dance, hands-and-knees, side-lying, supported squat, switch sides in bed. Keep the pelvis open and baby moving down.
Breathing & sound: Long, slow exhales; low-tone humming or moaning to keep the jaw and pelvic floor relaxed.
Water: Warm shower or tub for buoyancy and muscle relaxation.
Counterpressure: Firm pressure to the low back/sacrum or a hip squeeze during contractions to blunt the peak.
TENS: Adhesive pads on the lower back deliver gentle pulses; turn up during contractions, down between.
Heat/Cold: Warm packs to soften tight muscles; cool packs if you’re overheated or want a numbing effect.
Environment: Dim lights, minimal chatter, familiar music, sips of fluid, and regular bathroom breaks.
Pro tip: Practice your favorite comfort tools before labor—when it gets intense, muscle memory beats panic.
Nitrous oxide (“laughing gas”)
Self-administered through a mask or mouthpiece.
How it helps: Fast on/fast off; takes the edge off and can create a mild, floaty dissociation.
How to use: Start breathing at the very first hint of a contraction so relief peaks with the contraction peak. Keep a good seal and breathe slowly.
What to expect: Dizziness is common; effects fade within a couple of minutes after you stop.
IV opioids (systemic meds)
Examples include fentanyl, morphine, or demerol given by IV or injection.
How they help: Take the edge off contractions and reduce overall distress; they do not remove pain completely.
What to expect: Possible nausea, itching, drowsiness. Tell your team if you feel too woozy so they can adjust or add anti-nausea support.
Timing matters: Your team will be cautious with dosing near delivery.
Local Anesthesia
Used when there’s no epidural running.
For repair: Local numbing is injected so stitches (if needed) are tolerable without an epidural.
Pudendal block: A provider-dependent option late in pushing to blunt the crowning burn and help with those final pushes.
Epidural
The most complete analgesia option.
What to expect: Dramatically reduces pain sensation. You can ask about dose adjustments if it feels too heavy.
Movement still matters: With help, you can reposition in bed (side-lying, all-fours, lunges with support, etc.) to keep labor progressing.
Details: Follow your team’s local “what to expect” process for placement, monitoring, and adjustments.
4) You can still move with an epidural
An epidural doesn’t have to glue you to the mattress. If the block feels too heavy, ask your nurse or anesthesia team to lighten the dose so you can change positions. Great options that still work with an epidural: side-lying, hands-and-knees/all-fours, supported lunges, supported squat, and tug-of-war with the squat bar.
Bottom line: movement for you = motion for baby (better angles, a more flexible sacrum, and often more space).
5) Where - and with whom - you birth changes your options
Hospitals and providers don’t all offer the same menu. Some don’t have tubs for water labor or don’t attend water birth, some don’t support VBAC, some lack immediate OR access, and many don’t attend vaginal breech. If a specific option matters, choose your location and team early so your birth plan matches what’s actually available.
