Three Things About Pregnancy & Birth Everyone Assumes You Know (But… You Don’t)
Ever been around people talking pregnancy and birth, and they look at you like you should know what’s up—but you really… don’t? Consider this your friendly crash course.
After these three basics, you can sit with the cool kids at your next dinner party and join the convo with confidence.
1) The Placenta: Your Baby’s Temporary Life-Support System
If you’re not pregnant—or don’t work with pregnant bodies and newborns—you might not know much about the placenta. Let’s fix that.
What it is:
A temporary organ that forms early in pregnancy from some of the same cells that create your baby. It’s one of the body’s only disposable organs: baby needs it now, doesn’t need it later.
What it does:
Feeds and oxygenates baby: Transfers oxygen, nutrients, and hormones to baby.
Removes waste: Sends waste products back across to your circulation for removal.
Protects and regulates: Helps protect against certain infections/maternal illnesses and releases hormones that influence metabolism, fetal growth, and how pregnancy progresses.
Connects via the cord: The umbilical cord usually attaches near the center of the placenta (occasionally closer to the edge—which may warrant closer observation).
After birth:
Ask for a little tour—it’s fascinating. You’ll see:
A rough, meaty side (maternal side) that attached to your uterine wall and was fed by your blood vessels.
A smooth, shiny side (fetal side)—baby’s “body pillow” for ~9 months.
2) Vaginal (Cervical) Exams: What, Why, and What to Expect
When I was first pregnant, vaginal exams were not on my radar—and then suddenly, they were. Here’s the what/why/how so you’re not blindsided on exam day.
First things first: informed consent.
“I’m just gonna…” doesn’t replace consent. You deserve to know why an exam is recommended right now and whether it changes your care plan. If it doesn’t change anything, it’s fair to ask if it’s necessary.
How it’s done (step-by-step):
You’ll undress from the waist down and be covered with a drape.
Position options: feet flat, knees bent or “froggy legs” (ankles together, knees relaxed out)—many find froggy legs less tense for the butt/pelvic floor.
Your provider gloves and lubricates two fingers.
They’ll check in again (consent can be withdrawn anytime), touch your thigh/labia first so you’re not startled, then insert two fingers into the vagina.
They locate the cervix—earlier in pregnancy or before labor picks up, the cervix often sits posterior (farther back), which can take some maneuvering and may feel more uncomfortable. You can say stop at any time.
What they assess:
Effacement (length/thickness vs. thin/short).
Dilation (whether a finger fits and how far fingers can spread).
Position (posterior, mid, anterior) and consistency (soft vs. firm).
When exams happen:
If there’s a concern during pregnancy.
Occasionally at routine visits (note: a prenatal exam does not predict when labor will start).
Before an induction to assess readiness (Bishop score).
During labor to check progress.
Does it hurt?
Experiences vary. Many find exams uncomfortable (some quite painful), some find them tolerable. You’re in charge—ask for breaks, a different position, more lube, or to stop.
3) “What’s Normal?” vs. “Please Get Checked”—A Quick Cheat Sheet
It can feel like every prenatal appointment ends with, “Yep, that’s normal.” Sometimes it is. Sometimes it very much isn’t. Here’s a fast list to keep handy. (If you’re under 37 weeks, err on the side of calling your provider or hospital triage for individualized guidance—preterm concerns can be different.)
Get checked now if you have:
Bright red vaginal bleeding (especially with clots).
Decreased or changed fetal movement pattern from your normal.
Water breaking under 37 weeks (head to hospital; call on the way).
Signs of high blood pressure/preeclampsia:
Visual changes
Severe/persistent headache
Nausea/vomiting
Sudden, significant swelling of face/hands/feet
Blood pressure ≥140/90 (if you’re monitoring)
Chest pain, trouble breathing, racing heart, dizziness/fainting.
Fever ≥100.4°F / 38.0°C.
Severe nausea/vomiting (can’t keep fluids down).
Might be normal (context matters):
Light spotting can be normal depending on timing and amount—e.g., very early (implantation) or late term (cervix changing). Key differences from “not normal”: no clots, not bright red, you otherwise feel well.
Water breaking 37+ weeks: follow the plan you and your provider discussed for late pregnancy.
When in doubt, call. You know your body and your baby’s baseline best.
Keep Learning (and Feeling Prepared)
If you want more of the “stuff everyone assumes you know,” I cover all of this—and the why behind it—in my prenatal and breastfeeding courses, linked below!
Sources & Further Reading
CDC — Maternal Warning Signs
ScienceDirect — Placenta functions overview (summary)
