10 More Things Your Labour & Delivery Nurse Wants You to Know
“Giddy up, let’s get it.”
So you’ve already seen the first list of things I want you to know as your labor and delivery nurse — but hold onto your peri bottle, because we’ve got 10 more. This is the stuff I’m thinking about all the time (you know, in between catching babies and talking about poop).
1. Ask All the Questions
Yes. All of them. The big ones, the little ones, the “I don’t want to bug you” ones. Push the call bell and ask away — I promise, you are not a nuisance. Your labor and delivery nurse is literally waiting for you to need us. That's the job.
Labor can shift in the blink of an eye, so we stay close. And while I may have seen hundreds of births (and one surprise twin, but that’s a story for another day), I know this is your first time doing this exact birth. So ask.
That said, I want to acknowledge something crucial: not everyone feels empowered to speak up. Black moms and moms of color often face disparities and stigma in health care settings — and it’s not okay. One of my brilliant friends, Frances, reminded me that sometimes when she advocates for herself, she’s perceived as “difficult.” This is heartbreaking and real.
So yes, I still want you to ask the questions — and I also want to create space for this conversation. If you’d like a blog or video specifically about how Black birthing people can advocate for themselves safely and effectively, let me know. It’s so important.
2. Choose Your Support People Wisely
There are two kinds of people in a birth room:
People who want to see a baby being born,
And people who are there to support YOU.
Please pick the second one.
Birth is not a spectator sport. This is not a time for passive observers, panini-makers, or people watching MrBeast in the corner. You need people who will advocate, uplift, and show up for you. If that’s your partner, awesome. If it’s your sister, your best friend, your doula — even better.
PS: Welcome, I’m Tina — certified perinatal nurse and breastfeeding specialist — and if you’re new here, I do in fact love to talk about poop. Speaking of which…
3. Poop Happens
Yup, we’re going there. Poop is very common during labor. Why? Because baby’s heading down the birth canal, which passes right over your rectum. Apply baby pressure to that area and… well, you get the picture.
But here’s the truth: we don’t care. In fact, your nurse might actually be excited because that means you’re pushing effectively and baby’s coming down. We’re like poop ninjas — it’s gone before you even know it happened.
Bonus: less poop in your body now means less to deal with when it’s time for that first postpartum poop (which deserves its own TED Talk).
4. Pain Control Isn’t All-or-Nothing
Some people think it's either “raw dog the pain” or “full epidural,” and that’s just not true. You’ve got options, baby!
There’s a whole spectrum of pain relief:
Comfort measures (position changes, hydrotherapy, breathing)
Nitrous oxide (aka laughing gas)
IV or IM pain meds
Epidurals (love 'em, but not everyone does)
Local anesthetic for suturing or nerve blocks
And some sites even offer sterile water injections (voodoo magic I can’t explain, but hey, some people swear by it)
Talk to your provider about what’s available at your birth location. Knowledge is power.
5. Pitocin After Birth is Standard
At most hospitals or birth centers, Pitocin (aka oxytocin in Canada) is given after birth to help your uterus contract and reduce the risk of heavy bleeding.
This is part of something called active management of the third stage of labor — and there's solid research to support it. But here’s the kicker: many people have no idea they were given this medication.
I believe in informed consent, always. So I want you to know about this ahead of time, so you can ask questions, feel informed, and make decisions that are right for you.
6. We Want You to Have a Vaginal Birth
You heard me. We’re rooting for your vaginal birth.
Not just because it’s your preference (for most), but because:
It’s generally safer
The recovery is quicker
You’ll likely stay in the hospital for a shorter time
It usually takes fewer staff
So when someone tells me “they gave me a c-section for no reason,” I always say: tell me more. Because while bad calls do happen, the general rule is: your team wants you to have that vaginal birth. We really do.
7. Bonding Might Not Be Instant
Not everyone falls in love with their baby at first sight.
I know the movies tell us it’s fireworks and fuzzy music, but real life is messy. You’re exhausted. Maybe overwhelmed. Maybe just confused. That doesn’t mean you won’t bond. It might just take time.
What helps:
Skin-to-skin contact
Breastfeeding (if that’s your jam)
Knowing that baby blues are real, but short-lived
Getting support for postpartum depression if it’s more than the blues
Talking, cuddling, connecting — on your timeline
Also, lean on your people. Let them help so you can nap, shower, or eat a hot meal. Self-care supports bonding, too.
8. Your Post-Baby Body Will Still Look Pregnant
Pack the maternity pants. Seriously.
Your uterus won’t shrink back overnight. It took 9+ months to stretch out, and it needs time to shrink back down (we call it involution). On average, it takes about 6 weeks — sometimes longer.
So skip the skinny jeans, and be kind to your postpartum bod. You just did something fierce.
9. It’s My Job to Be the Bad Guy
Listen, I love being kind — but I also don’t mind playing bouncer.
Unwanted visitors? Say less. Tell me who’s on your no-fly list and I’ll show them the door.
Even better: create a code word. Something random like “sushi” or “I can’t wait to eat sushi.” That’s our secret sign that someone in the room needs to go — and I’ll handle it with zero fuss.
This works for students too. If you’re not comfortable having medical or nursing students in the room, you don’t have to justify it. It’s your birth. I’ll be the bad guy, no problem.
10. NO is a Complete Sentence
You are in charge. Even when you don’t feel like it.
Saying “no” to a procedure, visitor, or suggestion is 100% okay. But informed decisions are the goal, so ask questions. Use your voice.
I always teach patients to use the BRAIN acronym:
B: What are the benefits?
R: What are the risks?
A: Are there any alternatives?
I: What is your intuition telling you?
N: What happens if we do nothing?
You get to choose. And your choices matter.
Whew! That was a lot — but I hope it helped you feel a little more ready for your birthing day. If you missed the first “10 Things,” go check that out here [insert link]. And if you liked this one, hit that subscribe button or leave a comment — it helps us keep making this content for you.
If you made it all the way to the end, thank you! I hope this helped you feel a little more empowered, a little more prepared, and a whole lot less alone.
Drop a comment to let me know where you’re tuning in from, and let me know if you want more posts like this. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss the good stuff — and remember: you’ve got this.
