10 Things I Want You to Know Before (and After) Birth
Whether you’re gearing up for your first birth or your fourth, there are a few things I really want you to know. I'm Tina — your certified perinatal nurse and certified breastfeeding specialist — and I’m here to give it to you straight with a little humour, a whole lotta heart, and zero judgment!
1. You Don’t Have to Apologize
Seriously, I don’t know what it is, but “I’m sorry” is one of the most common things I hear from people in labour. You fart? “Sorry.” You poop? “Sorry.” You drop an F-bomb during a contraction? “SORRY.”
Ma’am… pardon?
You're having a baby. You are a literal force of nature. And you don’t need to apologize for any of it — not the sounds, the smells, the swears, or the bodily functions. You do what you need to do. Let the hospital staff worry about the clean-up and logistics. You focus on being the rockstar that you are.
2. It’s Not a Beauty Contest
Listen, your legs don’t need to be shaved. Your toenails don’t need polish. Your lady garden doesn’t need a fresh trim. I promise you, we don’t care. We’ve seen it all — eagle talon toes and braid-able leg hair included.
Labour isn’t glamorous. It’s raw, powerful, emotional... and a little messy. You won’t get this moment back with this baby, so please don’t waste time worrying about what you look like. We’re focused on your safety, your baby, and making sure you feel supported, not your grooming habits.
3. Your Doctor Might Not Be at Your Birth
Here’s a curveball: the provider you’ve been seeing for months? They might not be the one who delivers your baby.
Many OBs work in group practices and rotate call schedules. Unless your doctor has a solo or small-volume practice, chances are someone else might be catching your baby on delivery day.
What does that mean for your birth plan? It means two things:
Bring someone with you who isn’t afraid to speak up for your wishes.
Share your preferences early with your nurse! We’re with you the most and can help communicate your goals to everyone else.
4. Yes, We Love a Birth Plan
Contrary to what you may have heard, I love a good birth plan. (Well, more of a "birth wish list" because, you know, babies don’t follow blueprints.)
Having a plan shows you’ve thought about what matters to you. It tells me what to prioritize and how to best support you. So don’t be shy, bring the plan. Colour-coded tabs and all. Just keep in mind: flexibility is key. Babies are unpredictable little humans.
5. Car Seats Are for the Car
True story: I’ve seen parents walk into labour & delivery dragging their suitcase, diaper bag, yoga ball… and a car seat.
Unless you plan to pop that baby out in the lobby, leave the car seat in the car. You won’t need it for 24–48 hours after your baby is born.
Pro tip: Have it installed properly before your due date. Yes, they expire. Yes, we check. And yes — it must be in good condition and fit your baby snugly.
6. The Pain Doesn’t Stop When Baby Arrives
After you give birth to your baby, you’ll still have to deliver the placenta. Then your uterus will start cramping to stop the bleeding and shrink back down to pre-pregnancy size.
These "afterpains" can feel like intense period cramps, and they’re often worse with each subsequent baby or when breastfeeding (thanks, oxytocin). So keep the Advil nearby (if your provider gives the green light) and know that it’s totally normal for the pain to stick around a bit.
7. Skin-to-Skin is Powerful
Once your baby is out, skin-to-skin contact isn’t just sweet, it’s science. It helps:
Regulate the baby’s temperature, heart rate, and breathing
Boost blood sugar levels
Calm both of you down
Trigger milk letdown and encourage early feeding
Reduce your bleeding by increasing oxytocin
Also, get this, your areolas smell like amniotic fluid to help your baby find their food source. Our bodies are amazing, truly.
If you can’t do skin-to-skin right away, your partner or support person can still make a big difference by stepping in.
8. Breastfeeding Might Be Tough
Yes, breastfeeding is “natural,” but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.
Some babies latch perfectly right away. Others… need time, help, and support (and so do their moms). If you struggle, please know: you didn’t fail. And you’re not alone.
Lactation support can be a game-changer. If you're still pregnant, a prenatal breastfeeding class can help set realistic expectations. If you're postpartum, reach out for support. You deserve it, and you're doing GREAT!
9. Mucus Plug ≠ Labour
You might lose your mucus plug and think, “It’s go time!” But losing it doesn’t always mean labour is right around the corner.
It can regenerate. You can lose it and stay pregnant for days — even weeks. Sometimes it comes out after sex or due to small cervical changes. If it happens before 37 weeks, definitely check in with your provider.
And for the record: I don’t need to see it. Flush it, friend. I believe you.
10. Your Cervix Isn’t a Crystal Ball
Those late-pregnancy cervical checks? They don’t predict labour.
You can be dilated to 4 cm and still be pregnant a week later. Or your cervix can be completely closed and then — BAM — you’re holding your baby that night.
Dilation is one part of the puzzle. What really matters is cervical change with contractions. So don’t panic (or celebrate too early) based on a single exam. It’s just a snapshot, not the full story.
If you made it all the way to the end, thank you! I hope this helped you feel a little more empowered, a little more prepared, and a whole lot less alone.
Drop a comment to let me know where you’re tuning in from, and let me know if you want more posts like this. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss the good stuff — and remember: you’ve got this.
Be well,
Tina 💛
