5 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Had My Babies
I’ve learned a lot over the past twelve years—both as a mom and as a perinatal nurse—but when I think back to my first pregnancy, I definitely didn’t know what I know now. Honestly, there are a handful of things I really wish someone had sat me down and told me before I ever gave birth.
If we haven’t met, I’m Tina. I’m a certified perinatal nurse and certified breastfeeding specialist, and I share the things I wish I had known so you don’t have to learn them the hard way like I did. Here are the five big ones.
1. Breastfeeding Doesn’t Come Naturally to Everyone
This one shocked me. Breastfeeding is talked about like this beautiful, instinctive experience—and sometimes it is. But “natural” doesn’t automatically mean “easy.”
Babies need practice. Parents need support. And there are challenges no one warned me about. Cluster feeding made me feel like my nipples never got a break. Engorgement was painful. Clogged ducts and mastitis felt like personal attacks. And I wish someone had said, “Hey, not everyone enjoys breastfeeding, and not everyone can do it. And that’s okay.”
Breastmilk does come with great benefits—for both babies and parents—but that doesn’t magically make the process smooth. I just wish I had been better prepared instead of feeling like I was failing at something that was “supposed” to be easy.
(If you’re prepping for breastfeeding now, my courses cover all the things I wish I knew.)
2. The Pain Doesn’t Stop Once Your Baby Is Born
No one told me about after pains. I thought you give birth, the placenta follows, and you’re done with the pain part. Absolutely not.
After your placenta detaches, it leaves a wound inside your uterus that needs to heal. Your uterus also has to shrink back down. The way it does that? Cramping. And for me, those cramps were intense. I’d never had menstrual cramps before, so the whole thing was a rude awakening.
A fun little twist: after pains usually get more intense with each baby, and breastfeeding can make them stronger because of the oxytocin release.
Honestly, this should absolutely be in every prenatal textbook. Forget geometry—tell people about this.
3. You Don’t Have to Push on Your Back (Unless You Want To)
When I had my first babies, I wasn’t a labor and delivery nurse yet. I just did what I’d seen on TV: lay on your back, hold your legs, push like they tell you.
It wasn’t until later that I learned… you actually have a lot of options. Even with an epidural.
Different positions can help labor progress and make you more comfortable—side lying, hands and knees, supported kneeling, squatting with support, even the “Captain Morgan” lunge. (Yes, it really is what it sounds like.)
Pushing on your back can work just fine, but it’s not the only way. I wish I had known that my body could guide me more than the movies ever did.
4. Setting Boundaries Is Very Important
This one hits hard in hindsight. Setting boundaries before your baby arrives can make the entire postpartum period smoother, calmer, and safer.
I wish I had laid out clear expectations with family and friends ahead of time—like no visiting if you’re sick, no kissing the baby, washing hands, short visits, and being respectful of our recovery time. When those conversations happen ahead of time, there’s far less stress and far fewer hurt feelings later.
And in labor? Only the people you want in the room should be there. Your nurse can help clear out uninvited guests. You do not need to be the bad guy on your own birth day.
Boundaries protect your mental health, your physical recovery, and your baby. They matter more than we often realize.
5. Preparation Is Key
You can absolutely walk into birth without taking a class and still have a healthy baby and a fine experience. Plenty of people do.
But if I could redo anything, it would be preparing better. Even though my husband and I both have medical backgrounds, our training wasn’t in labor and birth. And birth is its own universe.
Prenatal education helps you understand what’s happening in your body, what your provider is talking about during appointments, and what your options are. It also helps you feel safer and more grounded during labor—which genuinely makes a difference in how your body progresses.
Whether you take an in-person class or an online one, education is one of the best tools you can give yourself.
(I’ve got prenatal and breastfeeding courses at BumpToLatch.com if you want something simple to work through at home.)
These are the five things I wish I had known before I had my first baby. They seem small, but they would have made a world of difference in how prepared and supported I felt.
What’s something you wish you had known before giving birth? I’d love to hear.
