Hey partners — you helped make the baby.
But your work isn’t done yet.
This one’s for you.

Just because you’re not the one pushing doesn’t mean you get to sit back, scroll your phone, cut the cord, and call it a day. Nope. You have a job to do.

Here are 7 ways to be an incredible support person during childbirth — straight from a labor and delivery nurse.

1. Prepare Before Labor Starts

Your job begins before contractions ever show up.

Prepare your brain.

Take a prenatal class with her. Watch the birth videos. Learn what to expect so you’re not asking basic questions while she’s in the zone birthing your child.

Know the stages of labor.

Know what early labor looks like.
Know what active labor feels like.

The more prepared you are, the calmer you’ll be — and calm is contagious.

Prep everything else.

Keep the car gassed up.
Make a running hospital bag list.
Know what last-minute items need to be tossed in (toothbrush, skincare, chargers).
Install the car seat properly — both seat and base.

And most importantly?

Know the birth plan.

Have your own copy. Highlight it. Screenshot it. Memorize it. Because when big decisions happen, she shouldn’t have to explain everything mid-contraction.

2. Early Labor: Patience Is a Virtue

Early labor can take a while.

Contractions might be mild. There may be long breaks between them. She might be laboring at home.

Your job? Make her comfortable.

What NOT to say:

“How much longer?”
“Should we go now?”
“Are you sure this is it?”

Nothing throws off a labor vibe faster than impatience.

What TO do:

Encourage hydration.
Make or order whatever she feels like eating.
Time contractions for her so she doesn’t have to stare at an app.
Be calm.

Let her focus. You be the support system.

3. Active Labor: Become Super Comfort Human

Things are getting intense now. If you’re heading to the hospital:

Grab all the bags.
Double-check the car seat.
Her only job is walking to the car and sitting down.

Once you’re in the birth space, you are now:

The Comfort Machine

Counter pressure (especially for back labor)
Massage
Dim lighting
Control music
Cold cloths
Warm packs
Water, juice, ice (hospital ice is elite, by the way)

Orient yourself to the ice machine. Know where things are. Be proactive. And please — be present.

Nothing is more irritating than a support person gaming on their phone while she’s in active labor.

4. Pushing: Show Up (Even If You’re Squeamish)

When it’s time to push:

Hold a leg.

Yes. For real.

She doesn’t need to do that herself unless she wants to. If you’re squeamish, look at her face. You do not have to look at the “area of interest.”

Respect her boundaries.
If she wants you at the head of the bed, that’s where you go.

If you’re cutting the cord:
It feels like cutting through a gummy candy. Just keep going until you’re through.

And if things get a little chaotic?

Energy will shift. You’ll feel it.

Step back.
Give the team room.
Stay at her head.
Be calm.
Be steady.
Be the grounding force she looks to.

5. Be Her Advocate

Even the strongest personalities can feel vulnerable in labor.

You may need to be her megaphone.

Ask clarifying questions.
Kindly remind staff of preferences.
Protect her space.
Keep the energy calm.

Kind but firm is the goal. There’s a difference between advocacy and aggression. Most providers want what’s best — lead with collaboration.

6. After Baby Is Born

Congratulations — but you’re still on duty.

Become the Paparazzi

If she’s okay with it, take photos and videos.

You can delete pictures.
You cannot recreate moments.

Capture it all.

Handle the Announcements

Text or call the family you agreed would be told first. Send one of those gorgeous photos you just took.

Let her rest and bond.

Skin-to-Skin Is Your Job Too

If she can’t do skin-to-skin right away (C-section, bleeding, exhaustion), you step up.

Skin-to-skin with partners is incredibly beneficial for baby.

Snuggle that little peanut.

7. Things NOT to Say or Do

Let’s wrap with the survival list.

Don’t complain about your needs.

You’re tired?
Hungry?
Back hurts?

I promise she is too.

Handle your needs quietly.

Don’t pick fights with staff.

Advocate, yes.
Argue for sport, no.

Ask questions. Seek clarity. Stay respectful.

Don’t say:

“Calm down.”
“Relax.”
“You need to breathe.”

Instead try:

“What can I do?”
“How can I help?”
“What feels good right now?”

Don’t disappear.

Labor can move fast.
What looks like hours left could turn into pushing in 45 minutes.

Better safe than sorry.

Final Thoughts

Your role matters.

Your presence matters.

Your preparation matters.

You are not just “there.” You are part of the birth experience.

Did this help? Share it with your partner if you’re expecting.

As always — be happy, stay healthy, have fun.

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Partner Survival Guide for the Delivery Room